Us humans have a hard time not knowing things we think we should know.
Thinking we need to have answers to all the things sees us tangled up in the past (“But WHY did that person do that thing?”) or rolling around in the future (“But what will happen if I do this thing I want to do?”)
OF COURSE we want to know the reasons and answers and outcomes. Our brains do not like uncertainty; it’s a huge energy drain for a brain whose only focus is our survival.
A brain needs to be efficient. It wants questions answered, loose ends tied up, things labelled, categorised, understood and integrated into the great taxonomy of life so it can get on with its operational day-to-day jobs of keeping us alive.
But what if we could just let it all be a mystery? What if we didn’t have to have the answers to things? What if we didn’t need to make meaning out of everything? What if we could take the figuring out and calculating and concluding OFF of our already full plates of thought?
Letting things be a mystery instead of trying to solve them is a cool idea because:
- We kinda don’t have any choice in life being a mystery anyway
- The relief we are looking for – certainty, answers – can be found in the fact it’s all a mystery.
Huh?
Let’s say you were suddenly dumped after everything seemed to be going so well. It doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t match what you think should have happened. It’s a mystery.
(This happened to me! It was going so well! He did that thing where he looked into my eyes with an expression of love and kissed my forehead. Everyone knows a forehead kiss means LOVE and not imminent dumping. Right?)
Rather than feverishly ruminate on why it happened, or look for a neat explanation, or learn any ‘lessons’ you need from that experience, or seeking to understand ‘what’s wrong’ with you…..
What if just knowing it’s supposed to be a mystery was all you needed to know?
What if, if there’s something to be learned or seen in life, you’ll see or learn it? Without having to drive yourself crazy figuring out something which doesn’t need to be known?
What if this is exactly how it’s supposed to go?
Stuff happened. Can’t explain. Oh! It’s the mystery of life!
Stuff might happen. Don’t know the outcome. Oh! It’s the mystery of life!
Wouldn’t that be kinda cool? Rather than a lack of explanation or tangible result or ‘lesson’ to be learned being a sign that YOU HAVE FAILED, HUMAN that, instead, that’s how it’s supposed to go? It’s supposed to be a mystery.
Life is full of mysteries. What if we could lean in** to that and let it be that way, rather than poking at it and trying to figure out things which just don’t need figuring out?
**I don’t know why but I have an icky feeling about the term ‘lean in’. It sounds a bit cringe to me. Yet, I used it anyway. Why? Dunno. I’ll put it on the mystery pile along with the other 67,827 from this week.